I’ve heard so many people talk about how bad 2016 was. I didn’t get it. Until January happened.
I feel like my January was everyone else’s 2016 all rolled into one. As much as I wish I could just write it all out here because writing is such a wonderful therapeutic tool, I’ve come to learn (at last) that there’s a fine line… a sort of unwritten rule so to speak in the blogging world, about writing from the heart and getting too personal.
Yes, I want to be authentic. I really want to pour my heart out here in the hopes that something I write might just resonate with someone else who’s reading this. I feel like so many of us put up a mask sometimes to just get through the day or certain situations and I don’t want to ever come across like that with my blogging. But there’s this thing called privacy. We all have dirty laundry — my life is far from perfect. What you see on social media is what I choose to show, just like everyone else. People don’t get to see the little meltdowns or the little crys or anything else that’s not pretty. There’s a whole world that’s bigger than what we choose to show and as much as I wish I could splurge my life story some days, I won’t. Certain parts of my life, my family, my relationships, my friends, and my job are off limits. I might touch on them when I blog, but I won’t go into the nitty gritty. It’s too personal, and it’s not fair. That’s a tough pill to swallow this year, but if other people can do it, and do it well, then I think I can too.
So. January. What a little bubble popper this month has been. I’ve looked like a crazy person talking to myself while driving to and from work in the traffic; venting, “Why me? Why now?!” And then I have to force myself to “step away” and look at the bigger picture. That always helps. Think of what I have — the most incredible partner/friend/soulmate I could ever wish for, reliable means of transport, a well-paying job, loving family, great friends, my health, fresh water (that’s a BIG one today), freedom, etc. The list is endless. But still… I’m a little peeved that I didn’t get to start the year with a brand new colourful journal from Typo and a calendar for the year ahead and a list of ambitious, but doable, New Year’s resolutions. I live for that kind of thing. It’s been a tough month. An emotional rollercoaster. But like with most things in life, there’s always a bigger reason behind it. So, January, I hate you, but I needed that kick.
This “little” thing called stress isn’t fun. It’s what’s kept me sick for the last four weeks. I forgot to take my vitamins over the holidays. I didn’t exercise really (who does over December?). I ate like crap. My immune system was open for the taking. And then the biggie: I resigned from my job at the beginning of the month to take something much closer to home (#grateful). If you’ve ever resigned, you’ll understand all the emotional stuff that goes with that. It’s not an easy thing to do. This week I’m back onto daily supplements, (mainly) healthy eating, light exercise, and forcing myself to *just breathe* when things get a bit much. Getting there… slowly. Baby steps. A BIG motto for 2017.
This stress thing wasn’t just about health, though. I realised how serious about life I’d become lately. Always wanting or needing to do more. Bigger, better. Another creative project. Another big dream I want to turn into reality. Another this, another that. Being ambitious is great, but sometimes it’s so draining. When you actually stop and realise how much time your own ambitions are taking you away from life and the extra pressure you’re unknowingly putting on yourself. Just because. It’s an eye-opener, that’s for sure. I’m trying to learn to just “be,” more. Be in the moment. Be me. Be happy. Be joyful about the little things. Stop comparing. Stop wishing. Just STOP. And you know what’s weird? Since I’ve made this choice, I’ve started noticing a change in my attitude. I feel lighter, happier, less caught up in all the drama. I MISSED this feeling! How great that something so small can have such a huge impact?
Lastly, January has taught me the value of family. And time. Two episodes happened this month that felt like thundering volcanic eruptions. They weren’t pretty, but the messages were that clear. Fix. This. Now. That’s all I heard. Regret is a horrible thing to live with and I don’t want any part of it. At the end of the day, at the core of it all, it’s family.
So here’s to a better February and a good 2017 for all of us, filled with fun, family, and awesome moments.
P.S. — About this blog…
I’ve decided to make this URL my new blogging home. For now. As much as I love Good Health Buzz and the years I spent writing on it, I’m not all about health anymore. I want to write about other things like décor, travel, introvert stuff, etc. I hate being put in a box and I didn’t feel like making a big hoohaa about this blog and what it’s going to be because I don’t know. I’ll go with the flow. It feels right, though. I’m looking forward to sharing my thoughts on life and seeing different parts of South Africa and calorie-laden food and decorating (we’re doing some cool things at home this year, so excited about this), and just things that awaken a desire to be written about and shared.
New year, new job, new blog, new attitude. Yes!